Remember we talked about how I would never eat a cupcake again because it wasn't working out for me? Let's review:
The truth is, I just don't like cupcakes. Especially vegan ones.
I know I've been a real bitch lately. But those GIANT CUPPIES! VEGANCUPCAKES!! PINK FROSTINGS$)(! CUPCAKERYyyyyY OHMYYUMM POWER TAKE OVER THE WORLD WITH MY EARTH BALANCE CAKE!! girls are like, somehow, worse.
Cupcakes are even less edgy than seitan cheesesteaks. Say the word cupcake out loud. You sound like a fool.
Vegan cookbooks need to go beyond their current concept of "Oh, look, cute. I make cupcakes" and start making angry, passionate food.
And so on. Is that why the above chocolate cupcake appears to have suffered an afternoon of jostling around in my bag? Was I hoping it would go away? The Natural Baker's goodies come at the right price of $1.75 . There were also some cookies hanging out.
I shouldn't have banged up the pretty cupcake's face. You'll be happy to know that I suffered as well. The frosting caused my throat to seize up, the crumbly cake was sans moisture. With the Rittenhouse Brown Betty opening, I think it's high time I give up on vegan cupcake testing for y'all.
In the meantime, I'll post a Craigslist ad for a new vegan cupcake sampling agent.