Sunday, October 26, 2008

In Another Kitchen w/ Kelly: Extra Bourbon Pie

Many bakers subscribe that great pie requires great planning. In this case, I had no pie dish, no recipe in mind, and I was in a foreign kitchen. A study of my environment revealed an estimable selection of bourbon; it was only befitting to crank out a Bourbon & Chocolate Pecan Pie.

A quick seizure of shortening, pecans, and a brick of chocolate put us in business. Some soul-heavy pie-baking music and a couple of sultry looks squeezed between the space of two bodies are what gives pie that essential zing.

Pie is not about what recipe you use. It's not science.

It's who you're making it for and what you put into it, and it changes every time.

Bake pie because they're paying you and it'll taste store-bought.

Contemplate sex the entire time and it'll be first-rate.

Use any recipe you want, but note that it'll be better if it's older than you and contains any of the following words in the URL: country, southern, Texas, Kentucky, Paula Deen. However much bourbon it calls for, be sure to add an extra tablespoon. Use a block of chocolate for tension-release chopping. Follow a simple crust recipe that only has 4 ingredients. Regret that you don't have this Emile Henry pie dish. Fool around in the bedroom while you're waiting for it to cool.

Eat the fucking thing. It's delightment.

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