In The Kitchen With Kelly: Winter BBQ

BBQ Tempeh on a LeBus bun. My recipe was basic stuff, but here's a much better one to try:

BBQ Baked Tempeh

The Nouveau Cap'n Crunch

I won't front like I don't enjoy the crunchy stuff. This new "Native" flavor from Bear Naked is so mind-numbingly trendy that they had to call it Yumberry Goji Currant. Yumberry is indeed an actual fruit. We all know that goji is the hotness. But what has currant done for you lately? It's likable stuff if you overlook the Marketing 101 title.

FYI

Veg Out: Bindi

Adam Erace is one of the defter writers in the PHL food crit scene. His synopsis of Bindi was a clever ode to the dash, and heightened my already-budding curiosity of the new-ish Indian BYOB. While clearly an issue with those who like to plan ahead, I'm glad that Bindi doesn't accept reservations on weekends, allowing me to call last-minute and inquire on empty tables. By the time we got there, a crowd of eaters was just starting to pack into the tight, drafty space. There was a small corner table waiting for us, inches away from another group. Talk about intimacy.

Bindi seems so intent on appearances that the cuisine itself is often an afterthought. Each dish was sent to the table with a thoughtful aesthetic approach. Even though everything was presented quite ornately, tastes fell flat. Spices were present but not overwhelming. Dual notes are meant to add lingering flavor, but forgettable appetizers were followed by equally so-so entrees.

A serving of Lentil Bread was a flat, uninteresting pancake. Sarsoon-saag Paneer arrived in a small silver platter, but the portion was filling enough that I only got through half. The nutty cashews gave the smooth spinach puree some depth and the satisfying chunks of cheese balanced the slight kick. I could have done without the meaty mushrooms. I wasn't thrilled.

The dessert menu was lacking the Cardamom Cake mentioned in reviews. Luckily, I was intrigued by the Kulfi, a duo of house-made ice creams shaped like cones. Presentation, of course, was deceiving. Both flavors were hard rather than creamy, because of the execution, but the Goat Cheese was more exciting and had a longer-lasting impact than the Berry Almond. The too-large bowl they were served in made it difficult to spoon the ice cream. As we passed Capogiro on our way back, we regretted not holding out for some respectable gelato.

Bindi
105 S 13th St
215-922-6061
www.bindibyob.com

Cookin' With Coolio: Those Salad-Eatin Bitches

Bring yo ass to the table...



[MyDamnChannel.com]

In The Kitchen With Kelly: Seitan & Mushrooms In Paprika Cream

My copy of Vegan Express, from Nava Atlas, is true to its word. Dinner met plate within twenty minutes, and it was restaurant-quality, minus the avocado coulis I should have whipped up and drizzled around the plate. That might have taken like an extra eight minutes or something.

Gianna Jrs. Closes, Original Giannas Doesn't Answer Phone

Not that I eat at either regularly, yet there's this minor thing with me and the Veg BBQ Chicken pizza. I sort of dig it, even though prior to turning v, I had never had it before. There are many things that I have never eaten that I now enjoy vegetarian versions of. Even if it's vegan slop, it was still an option, one that we no longer have. Now, one must endure the South St. location, which never answers the phone when I call to order. I still don't trust their online ordering system.

Taco Tuesday

If you can't go to Taco Tuesdays at Tattooed Mom's, then do the TT at home. Slice up an avocado, remember that the jar of salsa sitting in your fridge won't last forever, and fry up some tofu. Top with anything you can find. This is that YOU time.

Veg In: 2nd St. Pizza

We're in Fishtown and if we have to order dinner from one of the same pizza dives, I'm just going to pass and eat a handful of Froot Loops chased with an energy drink and start an argument with my sister. After rifling through the menu drawer, we come up with 2nd St. Pizza and hope that they deliver. Not only do they have vegetables on the menu that might not be frozen, they have paninis. The Milano is breaded eggplant, provolone, roasted red peppers, pesto mayo, and romaine tucked inside an enormous panini roll. It's satisfying enough, but there isn't enough cheese and the roll is too overpowering. Our order comes with free sweet potato fries, which are soft rather than crispy, and don't look appealing enough that I can convince anyone else to try them. I'm usually very "Here, eat this" around my little brothers because I'm the only reason they now hold appreciation for green vegetables, fine dining, and coffee. Every time I get a fifteen-year old nihilist to swallow tofu, it's a good day.

We probably wouldn't order from here again, just because everything was a big shrug.

2nd St. Pizza, 812 N. 2nd St., 215-238-8833

In The Kitchen With A More Sensitive Kelly: New Gear

Space in my tiny hotel kitchen just got even tighter. I have a passion for cooking gadgets that I only use twice a year and then forget about. Recently, though, I've cut back on my shopping excursions at Fante's. Most tools are handy, but not usually necessarily if you've got a knife, a cutting board, and some extra time. Did I really need new toys this weekend?

Well, I've always wanted an avocado slicer. Once the weather breaks, I turn into a complete Mexican. You'll see.



I haven't baked cupcakes in a long time. It's some heartless bitchery that puts me against sweet, pastel things. Into my basket goes a cupcake decorator, plus liners and cupcake cartons that conjure up Easter. My mom asks me if I'm feeling okay.

I want her to respect me again, so I toss in a coffee frother. Yayuh, bitch. I'm a fucking sophisticate. Froth is nice.



Vegan Express is a new cookbook. It's also a restaurant in L.A. that has vegan fried chicken and pancakes. When you can't have one thing, you settle for another.

Veg Out: The Ugly American

Your meal at Pennsport's latest pub will begin like this. It's not often that a diner recalls the first course over the final, but the house-baked biscuits are a strong start. These biscuits draw raves all around the table, nests of buttermilky layers with a crisp crown with whipped honey butter that are gone in seconds.

Service is impressive, considering that the soft-lit and spacious restaurant is so new. We are seated by large windows that frame the separate dining area, opposite its exposed brick walls. Tables are set with white tablecloths topped with brown sheets of paper. This is ambience with attitude.

We consider the macaroni and cheese entree, but can't justify a $16 price tag. I pick a mushroom po boy, a load of creamy goat cheese, wilted greens, and delicate truffled mushroom balls. Each mushroom is cleverly separated by a homemade potato chip. Macaroni salad and fries are both better-than-average. A little taste of everything is what always seals a meal for me.



A round of dessert brings dishes of ice cream, dark chocolate mousse, and carrot cake to the table. Intrigued by the apple pie and a bourbon pecan cake with raisin cream, my decision of carrot cake seems like the wrong choice. It comes straight from an icebox and all I can taste are the crushed pecans that coat the cream cheese frosting. The cake itself is a tasteless brick. My cakeist standards are not met. That said, I'm willing to bet the regular desserts have more promise. Or maybe I'll just end on another biscuit high.



The Ugly American, 1100 South Front Street, 215.336.1100, www.uglyamericanphilly.com

Veg Out: South Philly Tap Room

At one point in its resto-pub existence, the South Philadelphia Tap Room did not have a tofu-less menu. That has changed.

Currently, your veg options are narrowed down to asparagus salad, hummus, spring rolls, a quesadilla, grilled cheese, and ravioli. You look bored already. These are all stand-bys that you can find at most places, or easily fix for yourself. Oh wait, beer.
Yes, beer. That's why we're here.

The grilled cheese was frontin' as a Queso sandwich. I saw the word jalapeño and didn't mind, then bitched about my mouth burning and my inability to taste anything at all except pepper. I can't even tell you if there was cheese on this thing. I wasn't thrilled with the bun it was served on and would have preferred some challah or sourdough. Luckily, I tore up some of a hummus appetizer and did not need to complete this painful bun-wich.

Look, I'm only asking for a little something inventive.

South Philadelphia Tap Room, 1509 Mifflin St., 215.271.7787, www.southphiladelphiataproom.com

Dear Govinda's: Bring Back The Old Ham & Cheese Hoagie

I remember my first sandwich from Govinda's like it was yesterday. Most people swear by the chicken cheesesteak, but it never won me over. I went for the ham & cheese hoagie with soy cheese, on wheat. It was perfection, with chunks of fake ham, pickles, soy mayo, and vegan Whiz. This version didn't last long, however, as whenever I ordered it, it would always come out different, usually sans pickles.

Govinda's added delivery to their already controversial service last summer, so I finally decided to give it a try. I assumed the wait would be significant, but my order showed up half an hour later and nothing was missing. I had decided to revisit the ham & cheese hoagie.



What you'll see is that they switched to faux ham slices, which were overcooked into dry, hardened disks. The mayo had clumped into one spot on the roll, and the watery cheese sauce had separated into its own clique at the bottom end. The sandwich should have been stuffed to bursting, as a Philly hoagie is known, and not this sad pocket of Bad Vegan Sandwich.

If anyone at Govinda's is reading, please call me. I want to help.

How I Survived Another Frigid Valentine's Week

I can't give all of the credit to the omnivore who has been keeping me warm. Assistance was also received from:


A lot of Whole Foods Five-Bean Chili. Although, at $6.99 a container, you should make your own.




Vegan Chocolate Chunky Cups from Smart Treat, available at Essene. That's one girl and two cups.



Chocolate-Covered Strawberry Shortcake from Vegan Treats. I wonder why they used frozen strawberries inside the cake and a fresh one to top? That's so cold. Only room-temp fresh berries should be used for shortcake.

2008 Just Called And Wants To Know Why You're Still Misspelling Vegetarian

KYW reports that a former Philadelphia Eagles cheerleader is a finalist in PETA's "Sexy Vegeterian" Contest. What's not sexy is how they misspelled vegetarian.

Sexy: That Amanda Whiting is 28 and can still pull off the cut-offs/heels thing(my fashion obsession/trademark look)

Unsexy: That PETA is using sex to promote a dietary lifestyle, like it's all we've got going for us.

Sexy: The cheerleader has a degree in public relations.

Unsexy: In her quote, along is separated into "a long". Twice.

Unsexy: Chromeo's Tenderoni played in my mind as I read this.

KYW: Phila. Woman Competes in 'Sexy Vegeterian' Contest

Veg Out: Honey's Sit N Eat

I blame Honey's for founding the Brunch Hype of Philadelphia. While stuffed french toast was earning a reputation at Sabrina's in Queen Village, it was still a do-able spot on Sundays. Everybody else was content with predictable egg-y breakfasts at diners and street carts. I don't think we understood the science of brunching until those homestyle Tex-Jew plates were sent out laden with biscuits and trailed by glasses of fresh juice in a ghetto above Spring Garden. This was perpetrated by a mass exodus of peoples who fled to Northern Liberties. They slept late and demanded food that looked pretty and had little to do with Philadelphia. A neighborhood and a weekend trend was set firmly in place.

Every time I revisit Honey's, I wait in purgatory for a table or hope to snipe a counter seat. I also end up trying something different and not regretting a thing. Among the many veg decisions to be made, I was curious about the tofu rancheros, a compromise on huevos that is reached with tofu scramble and drizzled with guac and tofu sour cream. I added a side of veggie sausage patties, mostly because they taste best when someone else makes them and there's no way around that.

Honey's, 800 N. 4th St., 215-925-1150

Neon Cheesecake For Your Vegan Raver Needs

Does this Lemon Blackberry vegan cheesecake glow in the dark or is it the intense flash on my camera phone? Lotus Cake Studio's creations aren't always labeled as vegan because most omnis wouldn't know the difference and baker Vedika would prefer that they didn't. You'll know it's one of her masterpieces because she tops each slice with an artisan dairy-free chocolate. I ate mine first, because it detracts from our dayglo theme. I don't even mess with the real thing anymore. It's available at both Higher Grounds and Red Hook.

Bread & Cheese Unite For Perfect Food

Relax. What appears to be a monstrous sweet bun that somebody forgot to put icing or cinnamon on and left in the oven too long is actually Whole Food's Cheddar Cheese Bread. I've had a friend mumble something about this before, but didn't discover it myself until recently.

Two of my essentials for survival, bread and cheese, things that Whole Foods happens to excel in variety and selection of, are combined to create a giant hunk of protein and carbs. There are swirls of fine cheddar in a maze of crusty bread. It's going to take me like 3 years to eat this.

Gastropubbin'

Two of my stand-by gastropubs are no secret: The Abbaye and The Royal.

What really puts the two up top is that the service is extraordinary. Every time I go, I luck out with a charming server who goes the extra mile by presenting wit along with my plate. Both of which I find to be necessary things.

I took my first brunch at the Abbaye and swore that I would order something besides the surreal seitan cheesesteak. Complimentary mini muffins are a touch specific to the Abbaye brunch and are delivered to each table. They're honestly the best muffins around, too, even if they are tiny. I cut into the challah french toast, which didn't sound like anything special, unless you know that challah is an unfuckwithable force of deliciousness. I was quite pleased with it. My partners went with the buttermilk pancakes, which were small, almost like silver dollars, and the vegetarian chili, and both elicited a thumbs up.

The Royal has a portabello panini that I finally decided to try. They know how to make a sandwich. They also excel in serving that same sandwich. No complaints. All pleasure.

It's also nice that after a full house at The Royal Tavern, privacy can be found at La Golosa just down the street. I'm still not sure that many people know about this place, as I always have it to myself when I stop in. If you need a piece of high-percentage chocolate or a soul-building, body-shocking jolt of rich cocoa, do it. Need a hunk of velvety cake? Do it more. And take someone that you want to do it with, with you.

Cactus Is Part Of My Five-A-Day Plan

Where does one find edible cactus in Philadelphia? It's on menus everywhere-from the black bean, portabello, and cactus burrito at Pico de Gallo, where it acts as a meaty filling in a Cali-style package, to the zesty Nopal Ensalada at Cantina, with grilled cactus paddle and pumpkin seeds. Both El Vez and Plaza Garibaldi have cactus salads, and I'm just waiting for it to show up in the produce section at the super. I'll have to track some down at an "Italian" Market bodega. The earthy, subtle flavor of it reminds me of mushroom, slightly of avocado. If more readily available, the cactus could become a hit in refrigerator crispers everywhere.

Wawa VS 7-Eleven: Where Do Your Loyalties Lie?

Many a time has 7-Eleven made lunch happen with their veg selections. All of your wonder regarding those Moshe sandwiches can be dealt with here:

7-Eleven's Seitan-ic Cult

But I still got the Wawa appresh. They have a new whole-grain apple muffin. I'm a slut for whole grains. Gotta have.



But is the Daily News on a veg kick now? It doesn't stop there:

Veggie Interesting