In Another Kitchen w/ Kelly: Extra Bourbon Pie

Many bakers subscribe that great pie requires great planning. In this case, I had no pie dish, no recipe in mind, and I was in a foreign kitchen. A study of my environment revealed an estimable selection of bourbon; it was only befitting to crank out a Bourbon & Chocolate Pecan Pie.

A quick seizure of shortening, pecans, and a brick of chocolate put us in business. Some soul-heavy pie-baking music and a couple of sultry looks squeezed between the space of two bodies are what gives pie that essential zing.

Pie is not about what recipe you use. It's not science.

It's who you're making it for and what you put into it, and it changes every time.

Bake pie because they're paying you and it'll taste store-bought.

Contemplate sex the entire time and it'll be first-rate.

Use any recipe you want, but note that it'll be better if it's older than you and contains any of the following words in the URL: country, southern, Texas, Kentucky, Paula Deen. However much bourbon it calls for, be sure to add an extra tablespoon. Use a block of chocolate for tension-release chopping. Follow a simple crust recipe that only has 4 ingredients. Regret that you don't have this Emile Henry pie dish. Fool around in the bedroom while you're waiting for it to cool.

Eat the fucking thing. It's delightment.

In the Kitchen w/ Kelly: Cranberry Pancakes

I practically stole these on-sale cranberries. I give this recipe the vegan touch, using wheat flour, soy milk, Earth Balance, and one tablespoon of oil instead of the egg. I was tempted to use vodka as syrup, because it's that kind of day.

What would you do with all of my extra berries? Cranberry tofu meatballs? Fire away.

Spice Girl

• Who knows where you're running on the night of Tuesday, November 11? A little carbo-loading couldn't hurt, so lay down the High & Mighty Brewery Vegetarian Beer Dinner at the Belgian Cafe.
• CARBS. Gi Dem A Run Jhon, Gi Dema Run, Gi Dem A Run, Wi An' Di Girls A Have A Fun. I know that waiting in line for a pumpkin bagel with pumpkin cream cheese at Einstein Bros. on Temple's campus is like being a five year old in the WIC office. Only you're getting Juicy Juice as a bonus. Been there, run dat.
• Everybody's stepping to Mi Lah Vegetarian. Stamp that.
• You gun a lot of one-liners when everyone shush you. You become as interesting as you possibly can until people give you more lines.
  

Anything Goes, Which Way Will You?

Penn Pizza at 47th and Spruce is like the polar opposite of Molly Russakoff's reimagined Italian Market venture that opens next month in the former bookstore. Here's hoping she removes the smell of cat, which always kept me away from the shop because I'm allergic. I'm one with the animals, but don't want them involved in my food in any way.

Veg Out: Citimarket Place

With the surplus of mini marts in the Gayborhood, any newcomers ought to put out, right?

Citimarket is less than one pirouette from another grocer. I know because I did it.

Something made me step back. A sign weeks earlier had warned of a new "organic" store. This appeared to be an exact replica of every nearby market, except there were a lot more health food items and they were stocked something serious. I would have let it go, because we understand that I despise collecting groceries. I zone out in aisles and ZZZZ at the free samples. Let me forage what I can from urban farms and cafes where the food is overpriced but the company is full of fiber and I'm perfectly happy. The vegan fairies never forget about me.

I set eyes on the sandwich board and that's when I thought of you.

The tofu, egg white, and soy cheese breakfast sandwich might not make much vegan sense, but healthwise? Can't find that anywhere else. Lunch gets pretty mean sometimes when you've taken every veggie panini in the city for a spin. An entire vegetarian section covers all corners. Each type comes as your choice of a sandwich, hoagie, or wrap. Here's what we're messing with: Veggie Chicken w/ honey mustard and vegenaise, Veg. Chicken Salad, Veg. Chicken or Beef Cheesesteaks, Veg. Club w/ tofu & soy bacon, Tofu w/ shitake dressing, Mixed Soy Cheese, and Veggie Grilled Chicken or Beef Fajitas. Tofu salad. They've got everything but the Fu Wah banh mi.

I might start to eat lunch again.

Update: Wolfed a Mixed Soy Cheese Hoagie w/ Vegenaise. So much soy. So much good. $5.99. Fair Trade Lacas coffee gets a salute. There were some LOTV-reading types ordering up a storm of vegetarian sandwiches at the same time I was.

Citimarket Place, 1318 Walnut St.

Weekend at Club Med

I thought I had walked in on Oasis night at Hummus.

I got through three wailers by the time I had ordered my hummus platter at the counter of West Philly's latest falafel emporium. That was when they switched it up with Jack Johnson and Coldplay. If ever there was a distinct need for the distraction of good food, it was then.

The cafeteria-style Mediterranean joint need not have apologized for their guilty pleasures. But they should have completed my platter properly. What was I to do with all that hummus? I'm fond of the stuff, but the menu stated that this came with rice or fries, two salads, hummus, and pita. Anyone working there who would serve me what amounts to a full container of hummus needs a quick intro to Middle Eastern cuisine.

Seeing as I didn't want rice or fries, and would have preferred some grape leaves or tabbouleh, anything less Fast Food America, I did not march back into the thick of the Brit pop. I had chosen the hummus topped with chickpeas, and while it wasn't I-need-2/3-plate-of-that-good, it was acceptable. The fried eggplant slices were delicate and hard to botch, the pita bread itself was exceptionally fluffy. I wouldn't come here again, when my falafel heart is in the hands of others. For those that live or work nearby, I can see it being a quick no-frills lunch.

The weekend wasn't over before a new cafe had opened on my block. Mazag has moved into the cornerspot that formerly held Infusion and will bring something different to the area as a Mediterranean cafe with salads, pastries, and coffee. Think Cafe Fulya in Queen Village. Owner Dahlia is just the lovely face you want to see in the morning and she's very accomodating. There are very few people who make better coffee than I do on 10th St., and she might be one of them.

Hummus, 3931 Walnut St.
Mazag, 10th & Carpenter

Leftovers Week

No joke amongst the veg, every year around this time, there's a Quorn Roast shortage in supermarkets that carry it. If you get past your fakemeatphobia and the odd looks of the thing, Quorn is an insanely good mycoprotein (vegetarian, not vegan) that tastes like veggie turkey slices. It's considerably more moist than regular turkey and keeps for days after you roast it without drying out, giving you a future of faux turkey sandwiches. Top it off with these stats per serving: 90 calories, 1.5 g fat, 5 g fiber, and 14 g protein.

If you take your leftovers a little more seriously, Memphis Taproom's Leftover Sandwich has it all--puy lentil and pumpkin seed loaf, chestnut stuffing, dijonnaise, and cranberry compote. It combines the texture of a meatless loaf with a moist stuffing on a pillowy roll. Cranberry adds a gripping sweetness to the sandwich's layered flavors. This is a steady team effort. There's also some Chicken Fried Seitan in their seasonal additions, but I'm ready for more leftovers.

Memphis Taproom, 2331 E Cumberland S.

What About Neatball Sandwiches?

Oh man, St. Michael's Church, how many flea market meatball sandwiches did I eat in you as a child? Probably a lot.

Nevermore. Greensgrow has announced plans for a community kitchen at the Trenton and Cumberland church. Their end-of-season CSA party/fundraiser will take place on November 23, with more details at the site. Beer, veg food, chef competitions, raffles, and live jazz for $25 a head will help to pay for the kitchen's stove hood. The production space would ensure that produce becomes saleable goods for nearby restaurants. This means that the days of old ladies boiling hot dogs and frosting 50-cent cupcakes are up. Life with Mary Seton Corboy's pesto year-round, I'll live you.

In the Kitchen w/ Kelly: Lemon Poppyseed Scones

I've done something peculiar. Oh, that's every day, but listen. I've switched out my morning macchiato for a chalice of Yogi green tea. I noticed a few things. Namely, that I fancied some scones.

First, for those of you on the go, the best scones in our whereabouts are those of Michael Baer (of Blue in Green--now Hot Dog Corner, 12th & Chestnut). There are some unbelievable scones sold at Greensgrow Farm, not by BAKED, but some other bakery in the Philadelphia area. Get the vanilla bean raisin. Neither are vegan, but that's where I come in.

I find great comfort in the act of baking. If you don't, go straight to the next post. The incredibly easy lemon poppyseed scones from Meg's Vegan Recipes require little-to-no finesse in the kitchen and are made on pennies. Brush the tops with some soy milk and sprinkle with sugar if you want, but I like mine only slightly sweet.

While I wait for them to bake, I practice this shimmy that Frankie Manning taught me. Let me see your Shorty George.

Check it out! Apricot!

The PB&J Campaign just got served in today's Inquirer.

It's a sweet effort, but if most educated adults don't understand the efficiency of a PB&J or a vegetarian meal compared to the overprocessed nom nom they deal to their gullets, I'll die inside. I will. Still, I love that their main platform is to trade in your tuna sandwich for a tofu hoagie from Fu Wah in West Philly. Without this article, I would never know the delight of watching PB&J Girl and PB&J Boy try to unwrap said hoagie.

Unlikely Findings

• Vegan Treats at Gleaners, better late than never. A full range of brownies, whoopie pies, and cookies from the patron saint of vegan baking now crown the counter at the Glean.
  
• Get your Minar Palace keychain already. These free tokens of appreciation near the register are instant signifiers that convey your exquisite taste in Indian.
• The Starbucks Power Protein Plate is as unexciting and soulless as it sounds. Two slices of apple, two slivers of white cheddar, a small sprig of grapes, an egg, and a mini bagel make for a bland attraction that could easily be an appealing airport meal. You can also get it with peanut butter. Was it empowering? It met demands on a physically active day. I had no appetite and drank wine for dinner. I don't recommend either. Considering how downright angelic I am on most days, neither one hurt.
  

Veg Out: Shouk

Where is everybody? In the upstairs lounge? Bistro La Minette? They don't pack 'em in until the weekend here.

We happened in on Shouk one night for drinks, caught a feel of the lounge, and promised the bartender we'd come back for dinner. It took us a while, but we finally made it there this week. What a pity that we had not considered it sooner, for it was sublime.

I am a strong supporter of small plates. Not only do they maximize your experience and provide a thorough sampling of the chef's repertoire, they allow you to knock out all of your cravings in one go. Indecisive? Win. Nutritionally varied intake? Win. It's like testing sex positions. Everyone finds something that fits them best.

The mezze that nailed me was the hummus with sauteed mushrooms. Reminiscent of the made-to-order spread at Zahav's, I'd call this one even more remarkable. Just as silky with a bouquet of lustful fungi and some sturdy pita to clean it up with. Purple mashed potatoes, grilled eggplant, our just-because order of pasta with pesto, I could only agree with all of it.

Shouk has a definite aura, and by this point, we were wrapped in it. The interior massages you with to-the-floor couches, cushy pillows, and mood lighting. There's no fuss or rush, and the service is easygoing and natural. You won't be pressured to try a hookah, but if that was the plan? You're in fine hands.

Shouk, 622 S. 6th St.

New Vegetarian Restaurant Drops Out of the Sky, On Time

October 10th is not only the day I'm collecting my pristine Mike Richards jersey in anticipation for Saturday's game.

There's another home opener to get amped for. A while back, I mentioned the unnamed "Vegetarian Restaurant" moving into the shuttered Pita Pocket Falafel & Grille at 16th & Chancellor. Mi Lah, a gourmet veg oasis, is right on schedule and all set for next Friday (Thursday is the soft open). Culinary Institute of American trained chef Tyler Black has done time at Govinda's and Horizons. Black's wanton undertakings will make you want to sleep around the whole garden before you settle on your lifemate plate.

Hours for now are 11-3pm for lunch and 5-10pm. They'll also turn forth fresh juice and an all vegan dessert menu. Scope the entirety:

Veg Out: Cafe L'Aube

What good are those other cafes where you can't keep up with French talking points through magazines like L'Express and the Paris Match? Granted, they're a little old, but isn't your soul? Doesn't it feel like you've spent centuries pressing a mug to your lips as you draw in the mechanics of Western South Street on a weekday morning?

Cafe L'Aube certainly feels familiar, though the fig crepes and crème fraîche waffles are a foreign addition to our breakfast inventory. No disrespect to the bagels and tofu scrambles hardened into most backbones of cafe society, but sometimes one wants a bit of finesse in their fast.

To sum it up, I ate a waffle. The menu insists that these are Brussels-style gauffres, not to be confused with Liege (the dense, burnt sugar waffles from Bonte). The sunny rectangle is a mammoth, enough for two, crispy on the outside and fluffy in. Crème fraîche puddling on top gave it a slightly sour, malted taste that hit me right. A swirl of chocolate syrup added a hint of sweetness, but this was one sophisticated waffle. There couldn't have been more than 10 grams of sugar in the entire thing. If you want a dessert waffle, head to Bonte. I'll stay here.

Another key specialty of L'Aube, the crepe. I have Beau Monde on my shoulder. I have crepe mix in my cupboard right now. I wouldn't go there specifically for them, but there are some inventive fillings, both sweet and savory. The spinach and feta crepe didn't knock me out and steal my day, but I ate the entire thing.

As with any new cafe, the wait times are what they are. Exemplary waffles are a labor of love. Try a cup of Peregrine coffee while you're held up, it's notably stronger than most, and get fresh on the Sarkozys. Good things come.

Cafe L'Aube, 15th & South