Veg Out: Magic Carpet

Smurf & Turf - veggie meatballs, cheese, rice, salad with a pita on the side

The meatball sandwich was a constant in my early world. There was Mamma D's everlasting crockpot that she had salvaged from a flea market, precious meatballs bubbling in a sea of red. Off to the side, the checkered plastic sack of Amoroso sandwich rolls idled, and the worn face of the linoleum floor looked up as if to ask "Where is the droplet of sauce that will rain down on me?" The sheen of the styrofoam plates flashed head-to-head with the glare from the Kraft parmesan shaker.

If you hurried, you might get the last chair. If you got off the phone with your boyfriend, you could score the last roll. If you don't, you'll become a vegetarian.

The other night, when you were 18, you threw out the meatless meatballs because they were only half great. Your MD's crockpot was miles away. You only ate white bread as a joke. For the life of you, you could not nail that gravy recipe that was buried in the intellects of a select few. There was a sadness that dropped over you like the shuttering of a food cart at its final hour.

Tempeh is a real food. Seitan is its own wonder. A fake meatball is hard to respect, in those measures. And so I let it go, keeping my forays into alt "meat" at a minimum.

Now and again I shuffle up to the Magic Carpet, finding sometimes that the vegetarian lunch cart is not there and I have missed its window of veggie meatball opportunity.

If I find it closed, I purchase a piece of bright blue lingerie for later and settle a block over at 34th & Sansom's Saturn Club, where vegan meatballs are sold for $4.00.

But if it's between the hours of 11-4, and the quick-moving line accepts me, the Bella Donna meatball pita is the closest I get to Childhood Meatball Night in Port Richmond.

I know, Mom, that sometimes you read this, and you applaud my tart sophistication and empowered sexuality, even if photos like the one above appear that feature mush paired with rice and what appears to be cheese on, NO YOU DIDN'T, salad. I ask that you accept me, and am ever confident that you do. We're totally doing Mother-Daughter Flower Show Tea next week.

Magic Carpet is not just the cure for meatball nostalgia. I fully endorse their soy beef Enchilada Pie and chili cheese wraps. There are two locations:

34th & Walnut, 11-4
36th & Spruce, 10:30-3

Soy Milk & Joe-Joes

Get with me on this.

Sirius Soultown or Bluesville, Add Ice, and Shake Well

Vegan Soul Kitchen

Some highlights from VSK, wild next week, or at least the recipes that I will attack first:


Open-faced BBQ Tempeh Sandwich
Frozen Memphis Mint Julep
Some Things Are Small in Texas Caviar
Jamaican Veggie Patties
Upper Caribbean Creamy Grits with Roasted Plantain Pieces
Sweet Cornmeal-Coconut Butter Drop Biscuits
Fresh Plum Ketchup
Chocolate Pecan Pudding Pie

I've got two weeks of spring break coming up and these new shorts with zippers on the sides that I found specifically for mint-julep-drinking.

Seitan Cheesesteak with a Side of LOSS

We didn't win Sunday's game against the Pittsburgh Penguins, but I handled the loss with a much more subdued stream of curses than usual that afternoon. That's because my partner in culinary excellence fixed up some seitan and provolone cheesesteaks with fried onions and Vegenaise (we get hot for this spread). A final toasting of the subs in the oven was a brilliant play, giving a crisp foundation for the thoroughly melted cheese and its gluten heart.

I blame the loss on our game nosh being so gratifying.

Adsense: Bikes & Tofu in Philadelphia

The back cover of City Paper is usually the second thing I look at. I read papers backwards because it's more comfortable to me.

Right away I noticed the Trophy Bikes ad that read "Bring Home the Tofu" and yes, I got a laugh out of it. Check it out and then please, for the love of going somewhere in life, upgrade to a motorcycle and make sure you're bringing home the most quality bean curd (Fresh Tofu).

Cheating on the Kitchen: La Bella

Allentown-based Fresh Tofu have saved me from myself on several occasions.

I'd like to find more of their virtuous products (tofu knishes, no-egg salad, pre-packaged vegan sandwiches) nearby, because Essene, where I used to stock up, is too far now.

I did come across their La Bella Burger at the DiBruno Bros. on Chestnut St. Then I made a further discovery: It was over $6, as purchases from the cheese mongrels tend to amount to. Unfortunate, but this is a veggie burger you don't say no to. Beyond the obvious satisfaction, it packs seven grams of fiber and 35% iron, that latter mineral a crucial one for our sort.

Bella is one hot bitch, but she'll cost you. Get with her anyway.

Veg Out: Pub Webb

Wandering just enough off the beaten path puts you at a college bar without any students in it--at least at noon, shortly after they open.

Ask for the veggie cheesesteak wrap and it might be the first one they've ever made, comes a warning from a bartender, who looks like a student herself. Pub Webb has only rolled out their menu days before, and given that the saloon contains plenty of bar stools and just two lonely tables in the back, there's been more drinking than dining in this establishment. Ain't nothin' to fire against that.

Why, that wrap, a sheath of spinach tortilla protecting Ray's Seitan, the Rolls Royce of vegetarian proteins, was put back easily. It was properly cooked (most seitan is either under or overdone) and was not smothered in cheese, opting instead to dance with subtle slices of it. A generous amount of spinach was stuffed into the wrap as well, proving that a cheesesteak could indeed be a carrier of sufficient greens (at least one veggie serving). I wasn't even trying to have a sensible lunch. Not at a pub, but it happened that way. I'm not sorry.

The $7 filler took me through my night class and didn't let go until about 9:30 pm when I had time to eat one fig. Seitan is my marathon meal.

For those of you around Temple (don't get ugly, Penn & Drex, I report lunch in you next week), the Pub Webb menu includes Old Bay crab fries (veg), apple salad, and beer battered onion rings.

Pub Webb, 1527 Cecil B Moore, pubwebb.com

Cheating on the Kitchen: Valentine's Dinner at Mi Lah

Leisurely breakfast in bed? Always a turn on.

Pretzels at a hockey game? Hot and heavy. The salted tendons of Super Pretzel are kindling for a fiery afternoon.

Dinner at Mi Lah? Not a first choice on an overdrawn evening, but not a last resort, either. The $45 prix-fixe menu came with champagne and one of two selections for each course.

While intent on devouring each other, we couldn't help but dissect what was served to us. Just because it's Valentine's Day and he's mostly concentrated on what's underneath my napkin doesn't mean you can send out your mediocre specials. After excessive dabbling in the realm of hi-veg cuisine, you start to realize that most of what you pay for in restaurants is utter nonsense. Especially on notable evenings. After an empowering week of homemade vegan truffles (better than the chocolaterie-bought ones), cashew butter made from leftover nuts (fun with cashews), and coconut custard pie from the Veganomicon cookbook, we were ready to start tipping ourselves. We were almost afraid to venture out of the trusty kitchen.

I was a fan of the team at Mi Lah. I'd had promising meals there, with minor wrinkles that I imagined they'd smooth out. The parsnip soup was nice to start, the endive salad pleasant to follow. Both were refreshing, if slightly safe. If you were trying to ease an overextended palate, your mouth would have coasted into nap territory.

For entrees, we split up. I took the chickpea panelle over yet another puree of parnsips and a torrent of unevenly cooked mushrooms. The panelle was pure mush shaped into a mound, an incredibly bland construction that would only be fun if you'd just had your wisdom teeth removed. File away for future reference.

The other dish featured portabellas, kale, and tomatoes, and was so acidic that the manface sent it back and requested my choice instead. He didn't hate it, but I still felt extremely bad that I'd suggested Mi Lah when our first inclination had been to swap out intimacy for the racy unknowns of Jose Garces' Peruvian joint, Chifa.

Dessert came out, and Mi Lah's trio of truffles were another step down, cake-like balls that had the richness zapped out of them, that were nowhere near the caliber of truffle that I fuck with.

The red velvet souffle was a little more intriguing, finally something I could get into, cream cheese ice cream soaked up by the dark red sponge. It was the only course worth finishing.

Mi Lah Vegetarian, 218 S. 16th St.

Putting the Sex Back in Low Fat

Trader Joes Soy Cream, I shall put my spoon in you again. Vanilla. We get on.

Old Nelson Market on 20th and Chestnut, I will visit your frozen yogurt machine for tart flavor swirls shot with Cap'n Crunch now that I know about you. Maybe not Cap'n Crunch, but you get the picture.



Then I will go home and lounge around in this. Am I incorrigible? Perhaps. Allow me something.

Flax Club Tour of Boredom - Many Hour Milk Loaf

Flax bread & pineapple jam
Attempting milk loaf without a bread machine is an activity for the cocksure who happen to have a night in - hours reserved for painstaking kneading cycles and precious rising moments. Which is why you let your boyfriend tackle the dirty work of prepping the bread and the post-midnight shift of waiting for it to bake. All I did was knead the three loaves (2 white, 1 whole wheat). Our recipe is similar to this, but we added two handfuls of golden flaxseed to the wheat loaf. You can also use active yeast packets, as fresh yeast exists beyond our reach. If anyone knows where to find it, drop the nug.

Simple Milk Loaf

The result is a thick, bulbous sandwich-style bread with wonderful structure. It will make attractive toast and stunning grilled cheese.

In the Kitchen w/ Kelly: Figgin' Smooth

Do not dismiss this as a hippie shake.

When bananas start to go, I peel and seal them in a plastic bag, then pop them into the freezer, where they will one day find themselves cast in a shake or smoothie.

One of my all-time fixes is the Fig/Date Smoothie.

Figgin' Smooth

1 frozen banana
3 figs (use dates and adjust name to the Third Date)
1 cup soy milk

And...we're off to the blender until smooth.

Serves 1.

Midday at Tiffany's

When I saw a sign advertising Tiffin meals to go on the window of Temple's Barnes & Noble, I found reason to inspect.

If anything, it would shut me up on Tuesdays. My flexible 2-days-a-week schedule before I graduate involves a particularly long lease of Terrible Tuesdays, in which I am bound to both Main and TUCC campuses from 10 AM to 8:30 PM. TUCC is a 10-minute walk from the new apartment, but I miss a lot of first period Flyers hockey.

Whine.

It started to snow early Tuesday, and I'm not talking about the flakes of Splenda that drifted into my coffee that had been grown on the slopes of the Santa Ana volcano in El Salvador. You thought I was a Sugar in the Raw girl, right? Lo and behold, Tiffin meals packed in plastic at the B&N Cafe, which is basically a Starbucks. Pickings are slim, with a choice between palak paneer (my true love) and a vegetable tandoori wrap over salad, or whatever you can find if you move around enough trays of chicken biryani. Paneer it was.

You bet the biggest ass in all of North Philly that this was good. Even the nacho-colored lake of vegetables topped any mutant offering from a lunch cart. At seven bucks and change, I was a satisfied customer with a pungent meal and a trashy magazine ($3) surrounded by latte whores (priceless).

B&N @ Temple (Broad & Cecil)

Super Bowl Seitan & Waffles

Onion rings over mashed sweet potatoes, swiss chard, and fried seitan & sage-cornmeal waffles

This fried seitan was the unanimous winner over the fried chicken at our table on Sunday. Here's what you do: Steal your mom's fried chicken recipe and sub in the seitan, soaking it for a few hours in buttermilk (we found low fat buttermilk at CVS, of all places). If you have extra batter, slice up an onion and fry that, too. Accidentally drop some rings on a mound of potatoes and decide it looks soulful. Iron some flawless waffles and serve yourself the only imperfect one.

Veg Out: Mugshots

Half a Sister and sips of smoothie later...

My seasoning in South Philly is over. I now dwell in the Alps of the Art Museum, overlooking Center City proper, bordered by the gates of Trader Joes and Whole Foods, and the inclination to abstain from both. This new address has rendered me completely self-reliant on my own coffee devices, unless I wish to suffer the butchered cappuccinos on pump at Darling's. There is, however, the option of a quick jaunt to Mugshots, on that day when I cannot bear to grind my own Finca Mauritania from Counter Culture.

You lean over and you catch my cheek with your hand for that last paragraph.

Now, at Mugshots, there are two encores that I like to demand. One is the Reuben's Sister, a tempeh bacon-ized, Goddess-dressed, kraut-laden sandwich that, while not towering or monstrous, is sizeable and stirring. The other great hit is the peanut butter and jelly smoothie, a simplistic spin of peanut butter, vanilla soy milk, and strawberries. I would make it for you right now, but then we couldn't zone out in the new West Wing addition at the always-jammed shop.

The crowd is one of the few setbacks at Mugshots, even with the additional seating. There's also a significant wait time whenever I'm there, and I almost always end up spending $10 when I all I meant to grab was a coffee and a Vegan Treats Cowboy cookie.

Then again, try finding that oatmeal, chocolate, walnut, and coconut cartel anywhere else. It's a non-cookie-lover's Achilles Heel.

Mugshots, 21st & Fairmount

Tofu Appreciation

In the 37 minutes or so that Rich Landau of Horizons fired up the demo kitchen at Foster's on Saturday, Jan. 24, I had a few aha moments. I should be well aware of these things, but I'm the kind of chef who dances around the kitchen eyeballing things and tossing in bits and scraps of whatever foodstuffs linger in my reserves. I'll pull up a recipe, but I'll bastardize it to my content for the sake of spontaneous innovation. I need to smarten up.

1. I'm searing tofu all wrong.

2. My 13-ingredient BBQ sauce could lose a few things.

3. We should be letting Ray's Seitan sit and drop some broth weight for 10 minutes before cooking it. Tossing it straight into the pan with gluten guts on it is no good.

4. Fresh Tofu is the only tofu for me and I should forget about any other tofu.

5. There are two temperatures for cooking: HIGH and OFF.

Our post-demo supper was a shining example of all that we had learned. Peppercorn-encrusted tofu, chive mashed potatoes, and sesame kale.